Dear McDonald's,

We need to talk.

You probably noticed that I started with "Dear McDonald's" and not "Dear McCafe". You see, much as I support your choice to expand your hot beverages menu -- and I've heard lots of good things about your coffee even though I don't drink it myself -- I can't get onboard with you welcoming me at the drive through with "Welcome to McCafe".

This is, as far as I can tell, the equivalent of entering a restaurant and being greeted with "Welcome to the Dessert Menu".

If you decide to change your actual restaurant name to McCafe, I will certainly think that's a bad idea but would readily accept being welcomed to McCafe, but until you make such a move, please call your business by its name.

Sincerely,

Me

Dear Technology,

Let's deal with the elephant in the room right now. We both know we have not been getting along. Five hours with customer support last month kind of makes that fact unavoidable.

But I think we've finally put that all behind us, haven't we? Sure, it meant that I had to essentially abandon my work laptop which has become a glorified paperweight that I have to plug in now and then to grab files that are on it. (And really, it's not that windy in here, anyway.)

The migration onto another iPad seems to have eliminated the crazy death threats about erasing my data.

Even my phone seems to be behaving as of late.

So, technology, let's just put the past behind us and move on.

Can we just be friends again?

Sincerely,

Me