Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Dear Fisher-Price,

Today I saw a commercial for your new Little People Zoo Talkers. How delightful to see children laughing, playing, and learning about animal names and sounds, thanks to your electronic toy. Imagine how thrilling to learn while putting the special Zoo Talker animals on the red button!

In the olden days, back when I was a youngster, we didn't have the benefit of educational toys such as this. It borders on neglect, in retrospect. However did we survive and not grow up idiots?

You see, back in the day, we had to learn our animal names and sounds by talking with our parents. Seriously! They would have to get down off the couch and play with us! If we had animal figures or toys, we'd play around and our families would say things like, "Here comes the lion! Rawr! What does a lion say? 'Rawr!'" And we'd sit and giggle and roar at one another. Then we'd bark and meow and cluck and growl and make monkey noises. Sometimes we'd even have to read books -- books printed on PAPER -- with our parents or other grown-ups and we'd do the same sorts of things, pointing at pictures and learning their names and sounds. And let me make one thing perfectly clear: when we tweeted, no website was involved. Can you believe it? It's CRAZY!

Thank goodness you've created this marvelous toy so that little kids can learn about animals without any of that pesky human interaction. Until they're ready to learn from a screen like regular kids, this is certainly the next best thing. And goodness knows parents have better things to do than play, talk, and teach their kids.

Thank you for continuing to make the world a safer, richer, and more meaningfully plastic place for families.

Sincerely,

Me

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